I am talking directly to my people managers and leaders here.

You are ON.

You have expectations and pressures on you from the minute you wake up until the second you close your eyes (and it probably doesn't even stop there).

You NEED to focus. You need to ground yourself. The problem is, EVERTHING in your world is likely to fall apart right at the one singular moment.

The expectations will not change, the demands will not slow, the emails will not cease.

And right at that moment - your personal life is likely to fall apart too.

This may surprise you, but your work life and your personal life are interlinked. Whether you believe you are at work and are 100% present or not, is not the point. Whether you realise it or not, you have subconscious influences from your nervous system on your day to day decisions and it will directly effect the clarity of the decisions you make.

Now some reflection for me has occurred throughout the first 7 months of this year. This crazy, hectic and somewhat horrible year. Advice by the words of Evy Poumpouras came in the form of a podcast (which I have linked here for you) where, as a former CIA agent under INCREDIBLE pressure she was discussing her communication tactics for managing those involved in her personal life too.

Of course, the core of her message was "be careful who you surround yourself with".

As leaders, we have heard this time and time again and I don't WANT to take away from this message but for many people, they know there are negative influences on them, people in their social circle that don't respect them, don't have respect for their business, service or craft yet, they feel it is too drastic to simply remove them, which is always the commonly given advice.

However, Evy defines it perfectly. That sometimes people don't need to be removed entirely. You just have to respect yourself enough and be clear enough to say "hey, I need to be stable here to manage everything going on in my world. You have some CHAOS going on in your world and it is starting to leech into mine. I may need to back away for a while so that I can give you the time you need to align yourself, resolve your conflicts and solve your problems."

A common term that we hear is "I was dragged into XYZ".

You were not - you allowed yourself.

Sometimes those who bring us a constant sense of chaos need to spend a short period on the outer circle of our worlds. Especially when we have alot we are trying to balance and attend to.

And simply, if they can't regulate or calm themselves, they possibly need to stay there.

Its not about cutting people off, its about realising what is likely to change, taking full control of your life and placing them in a space in your world where you can manage them.

Your incredible leadership depends on your stability. Your capacity to stay afloat in times of your own chaos is deeply rooted in the regulation you can find in yourself.

Amanda